Pay It Forward...

It went very well the whole guest speaking thing for the RMH. I'd written something all out, made plans with DrillSgt. to have him say it, we got there found out we only had about 2 minutes, and so he just spoke. Turned out pretty well too! I stood there, tears in my eyes, because reliving that story gets to me...it always does, and because here was a chance to help out an organization that we will forever feel indebted to. There were some gasps from the crowd when they viewed the slideshow and when they heard that we stayed there for almost 15 weeks. Anyway, here's the written speech, kind of long and wordy and WAY over the allotted 2-3 minutes we were given---LOL!! (Of course names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
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Hi, my name is (DrillSgt.) and this is my wife (MamaChanga). We are here to tell you a little bit about our experience at the Ronald McDonald house.

Prior to the birth of our twin daughters (Pistol) and (LongRifle), we knew very little of the wonderful place called the Ronald McDonald House. We had heard it was a charity of some sort that you could donate to, that it helped the families of children that were hospitalized somehow, but we had no idea it was an actual PLACE! Well, all that all changed on Monday, May 8, 2006

After trying to conceive for 8 ½ years without success we were at last anticipating the arrival of our twin blessings. It had been a fairly uneventful pregnancy, smooth sailing, no morning sickness, no complaints, and we’d just found out that more than likely we were having twin girls at our doctor’s appointment that Thursday. According to the doctor, everything was looking fine. (MamaChanga) had complained of feeling extra tired but the doctor assured us that she was measuring the same as a woman at the end of her 7^th month, and had good reason to feel tired! Friday evening she was downright exhausted, but it had been a long workweek, so that too was easy to explain away. On Saturday she began to complain of discomfort and was beginning to think that maybe she was just getting sick, and by early Sunday morning we finally decided to call the doctor’s office. She explained her symptoms to our doctor who just happened to be on call and he suggested we go in to (our local hospital) just to get checked out. He calmly explained that it was probably nothing and she would more than likely be home that same day, but that it would be better to check it out and have a peace of mind. Good thing we went in, because when we got there and they started monitoring, they informed us that she was having contractions every 5 minutes. Our usual cheerful and smiley-faced doctor had a seriously pained look on his face after he checked her, more bad news, she was already dilated to 4 centimeters. He explained that they’d try to stop the contractions, but more than likely we’d be having our girls sometime soon. 23 weeks and 4 days along, just 2 days shy of the beginning of 6^th month…it was way too soon…

The medications given to my wife enabled them to hold off the labor for another 24 hours (every hour counts when babies are coming that early) and it was enough time for her to receive the much needed steroid injections and surfactant to help develop their lungs somewhat. On Monday May 8^th at exactly 9:54 and 9:55 am (Pistol) and (LongRifle) were born (we had decided on names at 4 am that very morning). They weighed 1.4 and 1.5 lbs respectively, and measured only 10.5 and 12 inches in length. Being only one cell thick, their skin was transparent, and their eyes were still fused shut (Vision is the last sense to develop. In utero, eyelids remain closed until about the 26th week). The two teams from Valley Children’s NICU were there to make all necessary preparations for their transfer to Children’s Hospital in Madera. It took a few hours, but they made sure to bring them the hospital room so we could see them before heading out. She was able to reach in and hold their little hands, and was given a picture of both (goodness how we treasured those pictures!). We were also given a code to call in order to receive information about how they were doing. They told us the first 72 hours would be critical…

We decided right there and then that I would follow the girls, (MamaChanga) still had to recover, but made plans to do whatever she needed to in order to be discharged as soon as possible. So my mother in law and I made the drive to Madera and it was there that the hospital social worker assigned to our case told me about the RMHouse. We would be placed on a waiting list and as soon as an opening came up we would have a room to stay in for $10 dollars a night. This place that was literally steps away, a short walk to visit our girls any time of the day or night that we wanted to. This place that would literally become our HOME for the next 14 (almost 15) weeks.

On May 10^th my wife was discharged from the hospital, and although the doctor told her she should go straight home and rest, he also said he knew she’d go straight to Valley Children’s and visit our girls. Little did he know that not only would we go straight there, but that she would only come home 3 times during their almost 15 week stay. We spent the first couple of nights at my sister in laws who lived a little over 30 minutes away, it was closer than the 1 ½ drive from our home, but it was still not close enough to the girls. Although they had made it beyond the 72 hour critical point they were still very sick tiny babies.

On May 12^th we received the call that there was a room available at the RMHouse. We gathered what few belongings we’d brought with us and checked in. N. was the first person we met, and her warm and wonderfully caring personality really shone through as she explained the “house rules” and how things operated. During our almost 15 week stay we would get to know N., J. and E. very well. They always had a smile to share, a listening ear, and encouragement to give. They shared our concerns, as well as our joy and celebrations!

It was as perfect as any “home away from home” could be. It provided us with a place to sleep and take care of daily needs, but it was also so much more than that. We were so close by that we made it a routine to visit our girls every morning, afternoon and night. We could stay as long as we wanted by their bedside, reading, talking to them, or just sitting quietly watching them grow. We were able to witness the first time they each opened their eyes, (Pistol’s) first frog push up, as well as a few scary events thrown in (like when she decided to pull out her tubing). If we called at night to check in on our girls and the nurses informed us they were having a rough night, it was easy to get dressed, walk over and sit by their bedside. Staying at the RMHouse provided us with a sense of normalcy. Our situation was very far from normal (as we were watching our babies finish growing right before our very eyes), but we had a place to sleep, a place to shower, meals provided by caring volunteers or a place to cook, and somewhere where our families and friends could stop by and offer their encouragement and support. It was also LongRilfe’s first home. Although she had struggled the most, she beat her sister out of there by 5 days. We brought her home to the RMHouse and waited for Pistol to “catch up”.

During our long stay, we also made some new friendships, other parents of children that were there. One couple in particular from a neighboring town in our area also had a premature infant, born the day after our girls. She was a few weeks farther along, so their stay was slightly shorter, however during the time we were there we became good friends. To this day we still keep in touch with that couple and their beautiful little girl.

So on behalf of my wife and I and our GORGEOUS little girls we would like to thank the RMHouse, its amazing staff, the volunteers, and benefactors for all that you do. You provide a home away from home, as well as support, encouragement, and comfort to all those families just like ours during such a challenging and emotional period in their lives.

Thank you and God bless you!

Singing Stars

We had a fun time yesterday, decided kind of last minute to have a BBQ picnic with Da'Gorgeouses in our back yard, and they really enjoyed that. They took a late nap (due to the last minute outdoor picnic) and then we dropped them off with Grammy and Welo for a couple of hours while DrillSgt. and I went to catch a movie. We watched the matinee showing of "Lakeview Terrace" with Samuel L. Jackson, and we both really liked it. He does such a good job at being such a creepy, weird kind of super intense psycho guy. Our date was really fun, just took it easy and played it by ear it included headed dinner at Taco Bell and stopping by to finally check out our newly opened CVS before heading over to pick up Da'Gorgeouses.

Much to our surprise when we arrived to pick up Da'Gorgeouses we discovered that my parents were having a party (well, it always seems to turn into a party whenever my uncles and aunts all get together). They had the guitar out and were singing (as is the usual during family gatherings). It was so nice to see everyone and watch Da'Gorgeouses interact. They were right smack in the middle of it all, sitting on laps, singing along, standing up and dancing and even bowing for the crowd's applause. Even Pistol who is generally a little more shy and cautious wanted to be the center of attention. She sat on Tia Stela's lap, sang the ABC's, Old McDonald, Down by the Bay, and even a few of the Princess tunes! She got up, was shaking her booty every which way to the music and was the first to take a bow after the applause. Of course, needless to say they were SOOOO ready for bed as soon as we got home.

Just What We Needed

I was re-reading the online diary I used to keep during the years we were trying to conceive and I came across this entry I wrote on March 15th, 2004. I thought it was funny that I was not only thinking about twins, but about the smallest preemie baby born earlier that year weighing only 12 oz. How strange that two years later I was to give birth to my own twins weighing just over 12 ounces themselves.

I've been thinking about twins lately. My cousin just had twin girls & I still haven't seen them. She delivered them C-section & they were only 2-3 weeks early, they were both fine. Anyway their birth reminded me of the littlest preemie born in TX--- the 12oz Kylie--well I looked & haven't found any updates since her birth. I'm interested in finding out how she & her sister are doing. I think the Rescuing Hug info that was posted on our board was really interesting. You'd think since twins share the same space while developing they would do much better when placed together after being born. My sis & I are 6 yrs apart, nowhere near being twins, but it was always comforting to have her crawl into my bed when she was scared or just couldn't fall asleep. There's nothing like the connection shared with a sibling. Since I was so much older I always felt like she was kind of mine to take care of anyways. Funny how we don't seem to grow out of feelings like those.

DrillSgt. and I went out on a date last night, we hadn't been out alone for a few weeks. It was nice to spend time with him, watch a movie (Mummy 3---I'll have to say if you haven't already watched it, wait until you can rent it), and have dinner. I could tell it'd been awhile, we were both a little tense but did our best to move beyond that. That always seems to happen to us when we go a few weeks without alone time, it's as if we forget how to interact with each other without the Da'Gorgeouses. Who would've thought that could ever happen to us, after all, we did spend the first 10 years of our marriage as a childless couple, even strangers would ask us if we were newlyweds, goodness how things can change so fast! It's so nice to actually sit across from the person you married and admire their features (damn, he looks good), something that doesn't happen when you're each in charge of making sure Da'Gorgeouses are doing okay during mealtime.

When we returned a few hours later to pick up Da'Gorgeouses @ Grammy & Welo's, they proceeded to recount some of the highlights from tonight. Seems that Pistol told Grammy, "leave me alone!" and LongRifle ripped up a book because Welo was focusing on reading Pistol a different book. They both laughed and said they were shocked and surprised by their behaviors. Welo said, "I just don't expect them to do and say things like that, they really surprise me!" LOL!! On a more positive note, Pistol actually ASKED for me to rock her to sleep and LongRifle actually ASKED for DrillSgt. to rock her to sleep---way different that our usual night-time routine, but something both DrillSgt. and I both needed from our girls.

Daddy's Girls

Da'Gorgeouses spent most of their day yesterday playing with DrillSgt. I guess I was busy getting their breakfast ready, washing the dishes, giving them a bath, making lunch, ironing clothes, packing their bag to stay at Grammy & Welo's house, and getting ready for our date last night. I do remember playing with them, but I guess he's right, he spent most of the day entertaining them. No wonder they were so energetic and in such a good mood, they had an almost exclusive daddy's girls day yesterday.

I been meaning to take pictures of them some time during the past two days, I've just forgotten to. I look at them and see how their cheeks are filling out once again, how they're so ready for naps and bed, they must be working on growing again. And talking, well, they're talking non-stop and using sentences. LongRifle told me as I walked in to pick her up, "Elmo shirt. Grandma bought this shirt." Yes, Grammy did buy that Elmo shirt especially for you and Pistol. During lunch she said, "Where's Welo, where's Grammy?" When I answered Welo & Grammy are home and asked her if she wanted to spend the night with them, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Yes, I do!"

Our date went well. We headed out for a movie (our usual date of choice) and watched Hancock. I really liked it, kind of a different spin on the super hero, funny and touching at the same time. I think it also helped that they used some of the familiar "oldies" (as my students would call it) music from my growing up era, and of course the very familiar Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Will Smith. How weird that "oldies" to me means the music my parents listened to in the 60's and oldies to them means the music I listened to from the 80's. After the movie we had dinner and headed back home for a night of restful sleep. I did miss Da'Gorgeouses and wanted to call to see how they were, but it was way too late (who knows though, last time Grammy said they didn't go to sleep until midnight).

Grandparents Are a Wonderful Thing

I did get up and make it out to the water aerobics class by 5:30 am AGAIN!! Woohoo for me, I also paid up front for the week, that way I have to go. I know myself too well, sometimes I just want to stay in bed sleeping, not to mention it makes for a really long day. I do feel a lot better starting my day off with exercise, good conversation and the view of that sun peeking up over the foothills. DrillSgt. says I must continue, he says it's added pep to my step.

Da'Gorgeouses had the opportunity to spend the day with Welo & Grammy (well, we were there too, but it's pretty clear we don't count too much any more) LOL!! It's perfectly okay with me, I had my years in the sun, not to mention when I was little I had all of my grandparents attention too. There's nothing like a doting grandfather or a semi-strict fun-loving grandmother to help you grow up feeling super loved. Anyway, as we were driving up to their house, LongRifle let out a "YAAAAYYY" from the back seat, a grin spread over my face a mile wide and knowing good and well what her answer would be I just had to ask, "Why are you saying YAAAAYY? What is it?" Her response of course was "Welo home!" adding the clapping and squeals. That girl adores her Welo. Pistol walked in, took a look around, said hello quickly to Grammy and said, "Where's Welo?" Grammy just smiled as he peeked out from his office. When Da'Gorgeouses saw him they went running straight to him for a hug. Such a beautiful sight, makes me wish I'd had my camera. Oh well, I pray there will be many more of those opportunities to come.