You always know someone loves you when they send you a GREAT email like this one!
This is something we should all read at least once a week!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once
more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch..
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea
what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But
don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But
the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In
five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of
anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved..
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Seriously, this New Year has already given us tons of crazy adventures. It all started on New Year's Eve when I (the designated driver=NO ALCOHOL) slipped and fell outside my uncle's house. Thankfully every part of my old body remained unharmed, VERY sore, but nothing broken, no trip to the ER. Then as we were leaving and as I slowly and carefully backed out, I backed right into my aunts parked black pickup! Not too much damage on our end, a cracked taillight and a slight dent in the corner of our bumper but it made quite a mess of hers. WTHeck?! Even after all that craziness we decided to go forward with our plans to visit our wonderful friends down in SoCal. We were having a grand time, hanging out, talking, Da'Gorgeouses loved playing and running around with their children and their dog Jax (which Da'Gorgeouses renamed Apple Jacks).
On Saturday night as we were headed to sleep we noticed that Pistol kept scratching her ear, she'd been messing with it earlier that night and had been coughing just a bit. Unfortunately, now that we were in bed and she kept scratching at it, it was getting really red. We took a look at it and told her to stop, turned out the lights and tried to get some sleep. Sure enough the poor kid kept itching and scratching, bad enough to where I turned the light back on and took a look. Her face was covered in hives, and as a looked under her jammies, her entire body was covered hives and her ears must have swelled to at least 4 times their thickness. It really freaked me out, but I tried my best to remain calm and woke up our dear friend to ask her if she had any children's benadryl. Luckily she did and I gave Pistol 1/2 tsp, rubbed Caladryl Clear all over her and put in a call to our local pediatrician. After getting off the phone with her, and having her reassure me that I didn't need to worry unless her breathing changed I gave Pistol the directed additional 1/2 a tsp of benadryl and watched and waited. Lo and behold she puked and her breathing began to get a little more shallow. Now I started to panic and we decided to head straight for the local ER. The drive was short, but seemed long as I tried to keep Pistol awake asking her tons of questions which she slowly and correctly answered but she was extremely lethargic and her breathing seemed labored to me. All I could think of was that if her ears and face were swollen that much what the heck was happening to her throat?! I was glad when we arrived as there was a Triage nurse on hand to assess the patients coming in. I relaxed a bit and figured that if she did stop breathing we were already at the place where they could help her immediately.
Pistol was a trooper through the entire night she didn't even fuss or cry or panic. After the initial assessment they decided she was okay enough to wait in the waiting room, her breathing seemed to have returned to normal but her hives still looked really bad. So we waited our turn, which was only about 45 minutes and Pistol pulled her hat down over her eyes and fell into a deep sleep right there in my arms. Once they took us back and the Dr. came in he managed to freak me out again, and wondered if I'd given her the correct dosage of Benadryl. He woke her up by shoving the tongue depressor down her throat to take a look at what was going on there. She was NOT amused to wake up gagging as even our morning tooth brush ritual which includes brushing her tongue makes her gag! He listened to our account of what she'd eaten that evening and decided that although it was possible that she'd ingested something that gave her an allergic reaction, her throat was so red that the rash might also be related to a throat infection ie. strep throat. So the scary ordeal that began at 11 pm that night finally ended when we returned to our friends home at 4 am the next morning, with a prescription of penicillin, and Benadryl, as well as a warning not to eat any more nuts, or tomatoes?!
I thought we would manage to stay away from the hospitals for a very long time, but I'm very glad that everything turned out okay. Her face is still a little red next to her ears, and she still has a few splotchy areas on her skin, but she isn't itching and she's taking all her medicines just fine!
As for our wonderful visit with our AMAZING friends I'll follow up with a post about them soon!
Sorry, I've been a tad bit distracted from posting on my blog. You see, before Da'Gorgeouses were born I LOVED to read! I would devour book upon book upon book. It seems that since they've arrived I've limited myself to reading children's books and blogs (that's pretty much it) oh yeah and that great quick read my parents bought me for Christmas last year "One More Day." Well, I've moved up to young adult books now (hey, at least I'm moving forward) and joined the Twilight bandwagon. DrillSgt. came home with the first one on Saturday and I finished the second book last night. Had a blast reading them and I can't wait to purchase and read through the last two! Of course I did limit myself to reading in the car while DrillSgt. was driving, and reading while Da'Gorgeouseses were sleeping (yes, I was up VERY late getting through those books!) LOL!!
Seriously, if you haven't visited this site Days with My Father, you must go see it. Donna posted the link on her blog today, and it had me crying while Da'Gorgeouses were napping (of course, it didn't help that he reminds me of my Welo---and for some reason almost everything had me on the verge of tears today). Beautiful, moving, inspiring...makes me want to capture and truly savor every single moment I have with ALL of my loved ones. (It took me awhile but you just have to click on the hand to navigate through the pictures). Go on, go take a look...
Those of you that know me personally may have noticed that I'm in desperate need of a haircut, the old hair in a bun/ponytail just isn't doing it for me anymore, besides I need some time to get used to a new do before the formal event on November 8th. It's been a long time (I think I blogged about it months ago) since I've even made time to do something for myself. So today I'm off to get a haircut! Wish me luck, since I'm thinking of cutting enough of it off so as NOT to be able to pull it back into a ponytail or bun (my usual hairstyle of choice)---LOL! On another note, I won a treat for myself. It seems that Kathy over at PinkChalk Studio had a random giveaway on her blog for her new pencil roll pattern and I won! Hooray! Now I have something to practice using my sewing machine for, I'm totally excited!!
On a much different note, Da'Gorgeouses are so much better today! Hooray! DrillSgt. stayed home from work today since he was feeling under the weather also. It turned out to be a good thing for all of us, we all got some good rest & I was able to take care of a few things around the house. Grammy made and brought us all delicious chicken soup for lunch and I'll tell you what she must have put a lot of love into making that pot of chicken soup because everyone was feeling so much better after lunch, it seems that Pistol was feeling so well when she was asked what she wanted to drink for mimi-time she replied in a serious tone, "I prefer to drink juice for mimi-time." Cracked us all up! Seriously?! That kid actually said, "I PREFER" what the heck?! DrillSgt. made a comment that once she gets to school none of her classmates are going to understand what the heck she's saying. When we recounted the event to Marisa and included DrillSgt's. comment (and after she got over her laughter) she told us she'd shared the whole "Why does this have to be so hard, this rabbit's going to starve!" story to Joan and had her laughing herself silly. Pistol's trying really hard to hold conversations with anyone who will listen and interact with her.
LongRifle isn't lagging far behind either. She's usually less talkative than Pistol but when she does speak she's also using complex sentences. Her "Where we going mama?" is now asked and answered. "We're going to Target with Grammy." "Did you hear that? That noise was a chicken." "Sissy wants milk, she doesn't want juice." And they can both sing the entire Sleeping Beauty song. I swear it makes me want to cry every time I hear their little voices sing it. The first time I heard LongRifle sing it, she'd just wrapped her little arms around my neck and put her cheek next to mine and started singing in my ear..."I know you, I walk(ed) with you once upon a d(r)eam. I know you, the g(l)eam in your eyes is so familiar a g(l)eam. And I know it's true that (v)isions are (s)eldom what they seem, but if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once, the way you did once...upon a d(r)eam...
You can bet I had tears streaming down my face, after all up until May of 2006, I'd only walked with my 2 GORGEOUSES once upon a dream! Now here they are hugging me and dancing with me cheek to cheek and singing "Once Upon A Dream"!
I took Da'Gorgeouses to have lunch with DrillSgt. again yesterday. This time I was a complete dork because I decided we would all walk in, instead of putting them in the big, bulky stroller. What the heck was I thinking?! Hello, I not only had to park, get them down, cross the parking lot with them AND the food & drinks in my hands BUT then we also had to walk over to DrillSgt's. classroom across the quad! Can you say AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Luckily, there was a bright side, a kind younger woman saw me walking up the ramp (because there was absolutely no way we were going to be able to navigate those steps) and came running out. She grabbed the food, said, "let me help you, you have your hands full!" I thanked her profusely, smiling and laughing at what an complete idiot I was for even thinking that was a good idea, and she said "NO problem, I have twins myself, only now they're six and in first grade." Ah, the blessings and kindness of someone who understands and has been there done that, who cares if she was A LOT younger than me, she has EXPERIENCE!!! Once we got into the office it was smooth sailing, even navigating Da'Gorgeouses to the classroom through the large campus and hordes of teenagers was a piece of cake compared to crossing that parking lot during lunch time (btw, I parked directly across from the office only about 30 yards away). I did have to keep turning back to cluck/quack at them to keep moving forward, made me feel just like a hen with her chicks or a duck with her ducklings in tow. Lesson learned, next time we go visit, DrillSgt. is meeting us up front, he's already promised.
The other day that we were at the Farmer's Market we sat next to a young couple (they looked to be about in their mid-20's) during our dinner. They had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. The girl looked to be about 3 or 4 (of course what do I really know about size in relation to age when it comes to babies) and their little boy looked to be close to about 1 year. The dad started making small talk with us, asking us if Da'Gorgeouses were twins and how old they were. We responded then the mom chimed in. She said that it was tough having two, and that some days they just made her nuts and totally exhausted her, she couldn't even imagine having two the same age. I laughed and told her I knew exactly how she felt. As a matter of fact I told her that every time I run into another mom with twins that look a little older I always ask them the same thing, "It gets easier right? I mean, as they grow older it things do get easier?" They always smile and say the same thing, "Yes, don't worry, it does."
Well, now that Da'Gorgeouses are two, and I'm more comfortable in my MOM skin, I've decided one thing, I've decided that I'm going to be truthful if anyone ever asks me that question. It's the one thing my sister is always thanking me for, she says I don't sugar-coat being a mom, I tell her like it is whenever she asks---and sometimes even when she doesn't ask (of course, that may be the real reason she doesn't have any kids yet...sorry Grammy). I love my girls dearly, I worked hard to become a mom harder than I've ever had to work for anything in my entire life, and I can truthfully say that not every single minute is all cake and ice-cream, some minutes are downright tough and during those moments I question myself and my parenting decisions constantly.
Take yesterday for instance. I had a raging headache, DrillSgt. spent all day plus at work trying to get ready for his students on Monday, and Da'Gorgeouses were screaming off and on throughout the day. Screaming and yelling and crying + raging headache do not always equal positive interactions, or positive moments to reflect back upon. Throughout the day we had a quite a few meltdowns, a couple of timeouts and lots and lots of crying. That doesn't mean there weren't any positives, I mean telling Da'Gorgeouses that my head hurt caused Pistol to say, as she leaned on my shoulder and looked directly into my eyes, "You got a...stops to think and search for the word in that computer brain of hers...You got a headache?"---I didn't even know she knew that word! So if anyone should ever ask me the question I ask all those twin moms, "Does it get easier?" I will, without a doubt, tell them what I told that young mom, and what after being a mom for only 2 years I've come to realize, "It doesn't get easier...it just becomes a different kind of hard."
It's true, Pistol and LongRifle are twins, there's no denying it, but she also has a personality twin, my sis, her Tia Na-Na. Have I mentioned that Pistol is the one that quite often makes me crazy? If I had any time for it, she's the one that would drive me to drink! She's super smart, witty, headstrong, assertive, wants everything her way, and to top it off, she's 2 going on 30---LOL!! Now, before I go any further I must add something, I LOVE and ADORE my sister, I enjoy hanging out with her, shopping with her is a blast! I miss her dearly and will often pick up the phone to talk to her, AND if she's in trouble my entire life pretty much stops until I figure out how I can help her. That being said, Tia Na-Na is pretty much an older version of Pistol (only now she's 30+ going on 16), if she weren't my sis AND my best friend (holder and confidant privy to all my secrets) and I didn't love her so much, to tell you the truth, she probably wouldn't be in my life---she's always made me nuts---LOL!! (I know you're reading this, laughing and nodding your head, you know it's all true)
Anyway, whenever we go visit or hang out with Tia Na-Na and TioMike (which we did this weekend) Pistol is attached to her at the hip. This time was no exception, and quite frankly, was probably a little worse. Any time we lost sight of Tia Na-Na, Pistol would howl, tears would drip down her beautiful face and she would scream, "Tia Na-Na, where's Tia Na-Na? I want Tia Na-Na!!", it was hilarious and at the same time a little scary. We went shopping at Tar*get and as soon as we put Pistol in the cart she looked over at my sis and said, "Tia Na-Na DRIVE!", that was the last I saw of my child for at least 45 minutes.
I'm glad they get along so well. Tia Na-Na even recognizes Pistol as her personality twin. I truly think she's even avoiding having kids of her own, lest one turn out like her. She says having her double visit is all good, but she's exhausted afterwards. She also adds something about having to be seriously medicated to have one 24/7 (thanks for the compliment!). Believe me when I tell you, it's nothing we've done to make their personalities that way, it's just genetics (if you don't believe me, just ask my mom). The way I see it, God gave me Pistol because I'd already had the practice, not to mention there's a reason for having personality traits like that, when you need it, it helps you to survive. From the time she was born, Pistol's headstrong, fighting, contrary personality shone through, and that's what helped keep her alive. By the way, I've already told Tia Na-Na, Pistol may be headed her way in the future. I've got to have a plan in place if I'm ever to survive those teenage years! LOL!!!
So we've started implementing time-outs with Da'Gorgeouses lately. I suppose we should have done it sooner, but better late than never. It seems to be going well so far. While camping Da'Gorgeouses witnessed their cousin in a few time-outs, they'd heard of it before, in books & sometimes mamá imposed a time-out on herself, but they'd never actually experienced one. Over the last week or so, we've used it for biting, hitting each other (or us), and throwing food on the floor, it's 2 minutes of isolation (in a corner--or their highchair turned away from the rest of us), no one talks to them unless its mamá telling them in a stern voice to turn back towards the wall (an approaching sissy is told not to speak to the sissy in time-out). I've noticed just recently that they have occasionally put themselves in a time-out (which I suppose is a good thing)---it's hard sometimes not to laugh because they look so darn cute facing the wall and saying time-out. Upon their release I tell them not to do "said thing" that put them in time-out and to say "sorry" to their victim and give them a kiss. Pistol has a little trouble saying sorry, but she will offer up a kiss. LongRifle has no problem saying "sorry" and will sometimes say it FOR Pistol.
So today LongRifle was given a time-out at Grammy & Welo's house after kicking her sister several times because she was invading her space. I told her she was going to get a time-out and sat her in the corner of the hallway. She turned her head a few times, I spoke sternly to her, she faced the wall again and then began crying. When her time was up I turned her around told her not to kick sissy anymore and walked her over to say sorry and give her a kiss. She did. A few minutes later she was trying to get my attention, became angry and started hitting me (I didn't notice until my dad called attention to it) and I told her she was going to get a time-out. She immediately walked over to the same corner I'd put her in and sat down. Welo made sure she stayed facing the wall, when her time was up she said sorry and gave me a kiss.
Just so you know, neither DrillSgt. or I got time-outs when we were growing up, there was no such thing. Although I wasn't an angel, I will say when called for, I was disciplined the old-fashioned way (with the added explanation---which I had to provide---it taught me to take responsibility for my actions, and that there were consequences). So is this how they're supposed to work?!
Matthew over @ childsplayx2 posted about their parenting style compatibility from Baby Center Horoscopes. It made me curious as to what it would say about DrillSgt. and my own parenting styles. Well, here's our results, DrillSgt. being the twisted twin Gemini & I being the crabby crab Cancer:
Head & Heart:
You two are quite different in your approaches to parenting. One of you comes from the head and the other from the heart, so between you all the bases
are covered! The Gemini parent is the more cerebral and talkative. You prefer
intellect to emotion, and you'll be the one to help your children with their
homework as well as many of the fun projects they want to try. You like new
things and a variety of activities, and will provide these for your children to
their delight.The Cancer parent is a nurturing force to be reckoned with. You
will introduce your children to the traditions and rituals of your youth, and
will incorporate them into your family life. You're sensitive and emotional, so
your children will be able to pour their hearts out to your sympathetic ear.I decided to check further what each parenting sign said, this is what it specifically had to say about DrillSgt.
The Great Communicator
As a Gemini parent, you bring a sense of fun and humor to your household. You love to challenge your family intellectually, so you can often be found working on crossword puzzles with your kids or playing a game of Scrabble after dinner.
Conversation and debate are an integral part of your family life. You love reading to your children, taking them to a movie, or watching a TV show together, and then discussing it afterward. You value a keen mind and will raise your kids to be as sharp-witted, curious, and opinionated as you are.
Communication is one of your strengths, but as a Gemini, you tend to intellectualize your emotions, getting caught up in logic and skimping on your intimate connections. So be sure to let your children know how you feel, especially how much you love and support them. And be openhearted and comforting when they need it.
Your children will adore your fun-loving, mercurial mind. Your tastes change often, and your kids are likely to find this both exciting and stimulating. But be sure to provide them with a stable base as well. Children need continuity and routine, and it's important that you provide your kids with rituals they can count on, such as regular family dinners, a bedtime routine, time to do their homework and exercise, and so on. You can bring spontaneity and amusement into your family life in other arenas to far better effect.
DrillSgt. is fun loving and humorous, I've posted many times about that. He LOVES conversation & debate, and is sharp-witted, curious and opinionated. His tastes do change often and although he is intellectual, he has no difficulty sharing his emotions with Da'Gorgeouses. He gives them great big hugs and tells them a million times daily that he loves them, and he has learned to be openhearted and comforting when it really counts.
The description they had for me seemed to really hit the nail on the head...
A Sense of Belonging
As a Cancer parent, you're probably very involved in the childrearing process (umm, yeah I am now a SAHM). You enjoy and learn from every miraculous moment of pregnancy, birth, and your child's growth. You're loving, protective, sensitive, and compassionate. If you're a typical Cancer, you may be a nurturing dynamo, creating a safe and cozy home environment for your loved ones.
Caretaking is how you show your love, and this is your seat of power -- but it's not control you want most. You have a primal need to feel safe, secure, and needed (I admit, I've always been like this). You try to do everything for your family, so that they'll depend upon you (luckily for me, having twins cures this problem really fast).
This is perfectly appropriate when you're caring for a baby, but every Cancer parent must remember: If you do everything for your children, they won't learn to take care of themselves. Be sure to teach them the skills you've mastered.
Overprotectiveness is another pitfall the Cancer parent should try to avoid. If you constantly hover over your child, letting go could be a challenge as you watch them grow and change. Deep inside, of course, you know it's all part of the cycle of life (I know this and I fight the urge EVERY DAY, so far I think I'm winning!).
Tradition speaks to you; some may even consider you old-fashioned. Holiday customs, family rituals, even ceremonies of religion or faith feed your soul with that strong sense of continuity and community that helps you thrive. The irresistible sensation of your feet on your home turf, surrounded by loved ones and protecting your brood under your generous wing: This is what you live for (something I never thought was me, but go figure?! It is!!!).
Okay, so the bottom line is that I can't really help the way I am, but luckily it looks like DrillSgt. and I balance each other out when it comes to parenting! LOL!!
Da'Gorgeouses had a fun day today, at least, I think they did. We took them shopping for some new tennis shoes for DrillSgt. Let me tell you, trying to contain two 2 year olds while your husband shops and tries on shoes is a task, you'd think I'd be losing more weight with all the running around that I do, sigh, but it might be countered by the stress eating that I'm prone to! DrillSgt. agreed (after he tried on and finally bought 2 pairs of shoes) that maybe shopping with them was not such a good idea. I mean, it was a sporting goods store, they don't have shopping carts, they have no room for strollers and they have WAY too many cool things to look at and touch, not to mention all those wonderful metal things that they use to hang stuff up on that just so happen to be at eye level and well within danger level of 2 year old toddlers. I also no longer care as to what others think of my singing Old McDonald, Libby Lou, the Hokey Pokey or Hooray, as long as it allows them to focus, if even for a minute or two, on something other than all the things they can pull down or hide under or step on top of.
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